Here are the guys we have met so far and hopefully you can avoid each and every one of them:
1. The Douchebag (it's pretty obvious who this is...)
I hate this guy; seriously I wish God had put a huge sign on his forehead telling you to stay away from him. He's good looking...i'll give him that but he will take you on a ride that you cannot even imagine. Some signs that a guy is douchebag material is; he's hot and cold (like the player...see below), he "forgets" to respond back to your text (newsflash; no one believes you buddy), never commits to anything such as meeting up or calling you....he's a avid texter. The best sign that this guy is a complete douche is that you are too embarrassed to tell your friends about him.....you know the reasons why! or when you do tell your friends, they give you that "look," yup the look where their face scrunches up and they are basically close to telling you to shut the *uck up. If your friends start telling you at any point of the conversation that "you are too good for him," well, its a clear sign that you're with a douchebag and you need to abort mission like yesterday.
This man has no energy in life and you have to do all the hard work. For example, it's up to you to ask the interesting questions and although he may reply back to you, it will comprise of one word responses....BORING! Basically, when you have to be the "man" in the relationship, it's time to move on. Ain't nobody got time for that.
So, this guy is signed up on every site out there. He's been around the internet block and all it takes is a hello from you before he bombards you with all his questions. He's played the game before so he doesn't want to waste any more of his time on someone he's not into. If this guy has come your way, remember the golden rule.....patience young grasshopper.
4. The forced man
He doesn't want to be online like he has zero interest in getting to know you. The only reason he is going through the motions is because his parents have forced him to. He either has a girl/guy on the side or is too immature and scared to tell his parents that he doesn't want a commitment or is going out with a girl/guy that's from another religion/culture. Basically, he's a wuss and one thing I have learnt in my life is that you can never force a man to change.....let him be and give him time to grow some balls.
5. The player
You knew this was coming. Seriously, I feel like there is no explanation needed for this guy except a huge warning......if you love yourself then stay away from him. Even if somehow you have convinced yourself that he doesn't matter and you are only looking for 'fun." You're not kidding anyone, this guy will hurt you and throw you aside like you meant nothing to him (which unfortunately you do). Enjoy his attention but this guy is dangerous. The best piece of advice I received from a friend was, DELETE AND BLOCK.
6. The catfish
This term has become popular after the tv show and it means "someone who pretends to be someone they're not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances" (Thank you Urban Dictionary). This guy is a fake. His pictures are fake, his texts are fake; basically he's an illusion. Now, here's the tricky part; how do you know you caught a catfish? There's always a small voice inside of us that insists that we found Prince Charming (you know he's hot, has a job, great family man, loves you and wants to spread rose petals on the floor in front of you yet he's single....hmm it doesn't add up right?) and this guy is really good at manipulating every girls fantasy. But, here's the catch; he is gonna slip. The illusion starts fading so if you catch him changing his story; he's a catfish or if he's too busy to meet all the time...catfish! I once had the experience of talking to a guy that had a complete fake profile from his pics, fb, absolutely everything! The only way I found out was that he admitted it to me (he's a dumb catfish) and after that I reported him and hopefully no other girl will have to experience that mess again.
7. The Ref/Fob-star
He loves everyone and he's so eager. He doesn't quite have control over the English language yet but he's trying to make it happen. You will immediately know he's fobby by the way he texts or when he calls you so there is no false pretense. One thing to note ladies; put him down nicely. He's so desperate for attention that he doesn't even realize it, so be nice....karma is a b**ch. Unless, you find out he's using you for your citizenship then, you have every right to let the b**ch out!
8. The disappearance actor
I know, I hate him too. It's pretty obvious what this guy does (watch Sex in the City where Burger tells Miranda the whole "he's not that into you" stuff) and we may never know why.....he could be a player, maybe he's shy, or he could have gotten shot right before sending you a response to your text message but who knows (and who cares)! one thing is for sure; HE GOTS TO GO! Next!
9. The cheater
He has a girl/guy. He's a loser and you don't deserve him.....ever. He's not worth your time and he will never be worth it. I'm sure you've had revenge fantasies or maybe you are hopeful that he will leave her but he won't. As for the revenge fantasies, don't get your hands dirty....it's not worth it. Let God take care of that for you....trust me, He can think of better ways than we can possibly imagine.
It's awkward. Technology has brought us so far but not close enough. Yes, you get the emotional & mental connection but science needs to figure out the physical connection. You can't go out, or see how he reacts to your friends, hold your hand and most importantly you don't know if he will pay for your meal (i'm all about food but he needs to have manners!). It's a tough relationship; i'm in this situation now and it blows. Everyone keeps telling me to be patient (which is tough) but it still sux. This sort of relationship is def for someone who is ready to commit and be mature (clearly i'm not haha). Lastly, if you have major trust issues; stay away from this guy. You won't be able to build upon trust in a long distance relationship because the person is never in front of you so, you will go cray.
The one guy that you're really going to get a huge warning on is the one that encompasses more than 4 of the traits listed above. He is a tornado of douche-baggery so if he's a lazy-player, who lives in God knows where and is a catfish.......stay away! I once fell in love with a guy who possessed nearly all the characteristics above and let me tell you he messed me up! A piece of advice I always follow is to trust your gut; if it's telling you to get out then leave immediately....don't look back. That inner voice will always lead you to the right path and hopefully to the right guy.
As we were compiling our list of guys, we realized that there are so many others that we have missed.....I could go on and on. I'm going to close this post in the words of my friend who described this entire list so succinctly in an accronym; "WTF."