And, out of respect for our lovely brides we have purposely left out their names!
1. Is it appropriate to ask your bridesmaids to pay for their dresses?
“No. If you want them in a certain dress and style than you should pay. Bridesmaids’ dresses are not cheap and it’s not fair for them to pay when they didn't choose to be a bridesmaid. Second option is you can ask what their budget is and they can pay a portion. “
“It is standard etiquette, but I personally don't agree with it. It's kind of unfair to ask people (even if they are your friends) to spend money on an outfit that they haven't chosen and likely won't ever wear again. Having been a bridesmaid myself, I've felt obligated to pay.”
“No, don’t be a cheap bride. Your bridesmaids will be doing a lot throughout your wedding and paying for their dresses is the least you can do. Plus if you are picking the dress they will wear then it stands to reason that you pay for your extravagant choice. Plus many bridesmaids might not be able to afford the dress you choose depending on the price so it’s not fair to burden them.”
“Depends… how much are they paying? What is their financial situation? Have an open discussion with your girls about what is a reasonable amount. If you have a large number of bridesmaids it’s okay to ask them to pay.”
2. Should you present your minions with a gift for all their hard work?
“It's a nice gesture, but not necessary. Gifts are not a measure of true appreciation in my opinion.”
“Yes, again they will be doing a lot of things during your wedding and before to make it a success, many times you won’t see or even ever know the extent of their assistance so the least you can do is offer a gift plus it is something they can keep as a memento from your wedding.”
“Yes. A small thank you gift is a must. “
“Yes. A token of appreciation is often needed after all of the work they have done. Although, just because you have bridesmaids doesn’t mean they did any work, so don’t feel pressured to give gifts, especially if you don’t feel they deserve it. Just appreciate the fact that they were there for you on your big day and thank them.“
3.Is there a thing as too many bridesmaids?
“Yes. It's a wedding not a circus!”
“Yes. When you have too many bridesmaids it can cause confusion and arguments between the ladies. Plus then it looks like you just made every Tom, Dick and Harry, or every Heather, Jody and Seeret your bridesmaid so no one is special.”
“I suppose, but where is the rule book stating how many are too many? It's a matter of personal preference.”
“No, not in a brown wedding. You want 2 bridesmaids? DO IT. You want 20. DO IT. It’s your wedding you dictate the number."
4.What if the Bridesmaids outdo the bride?
“No one can ever outdo the bride. I've been to a wedding where others have worn their own wedding outfits (obviously it was an Indian wedding), and the focus was still on the bride.”
“Kill them – LOL they won’t, no one can outshine the bride...it’s her day at the end!”
“Hey everyone wants to look good. So go for it. But don't wear the same colours as the bride. “
“One of the other bridesmaids needs to step up and say something. But if it’s your day you shouldn’t care about what anyone else looks like. This is your day. Enjoy it!”
5.Should the Bridesmaids and Groomsmen be in equal numbers?
“Not Mandatory – I don’t think it’s necessary to make it mandatory to have the same number of bridesmaids to groomsmen. It makes no difference and pictures can be manipulated if that is what you are worried about. Plus either the bride or the groom may not have that many people to choose from and to make this mandatory may mean making someone a bridesmaid or groomsmen just for aesthetics and or leaving someone important out.”
“Yes, it looks good when you take pictures and when you walk in.”
“Not necessarily, but it looks prettier in pictures.”
“I don’t think anything should be written in stone. It may look good in pictures to have an equal number but if he has 5 close friends and you have 15 you just find a way to work with it. It should always be fun. When it stops being fun, stop and refocus on what’s important.”
6. Is it important to make someone who made you a Bridesmaid one at your wedding also?
“No, it all depends on who you are close with at the time you get married and who you would like to be a part of your special day.”
“Nope…you may want a smaller bridal party or just have a lot of family members to consider so this is not a mandatory thing at all.”
“Not important but unfortunately out of respect you have to do it…unless you’re no longer close to them. “
“No, it is not important but when it is a family member sometimes you have to suck it up and just add them to the party. You don’t want to deal with any unnecessary drama, but if you really can’t stand this person don’t have them part of your main circle.”
“If you want particular things don't expect BM’s to pay for it. It’s your wedding not theirs… you may not have a budget but they do.”
“Weddings can be very stressful for people and whatever you can do to minimise the stress and increase the fun you should do it…its only one day out of your whole life and contrary to popular belief it does not need to be perfect. For me, I just wanted all my important loved ones around having a great time and that was enough.”
We hope you enjoyed these words of wisdom!